Children in the 21st century grow up in a world of the internet where information on sex are readily available. Plus, being exposed to movies and shows whereby most of them feature romantic relationships, will give your child an idea about what sex and relationships are all about.
Hence, by the time your child reaches puberty, he or she would already know or have some clues about what to expect during adulthood when it comes to this area of life.
Nonetheless, as parents, it is still important to talk to your child about puberty and never to allow other sources to do the talking for you. It is only you who will know your child best and by doing so, you’re able to set things straight in ensuring that your child understands this next phase of life well and clear.
The question is – “When is the right time for you to start talking to your child about puberty?”
Perhaps you might be worried that it could be a little too early that your child might not understand clearly or have too many questions that you might find it difficult to answer.
Well, we’ve got you covered. If you’re finding it a little tricky and lost on how to address the topic, you’re not alone. Many parents around the world are in the same shoes as you.
So, we’ve listed down some very important points which will help you during this next milestone in not only your child’s life but yours as parents too.
Puberty talk 101
In an ideal world, you should start talking to your son or daughter before he or she experiences any physical changes. There is no set age as to when puberty starts. On average, most girls begin puberty about the age of 9 or 10 and boys on the other hand, tend to experience puberty a little later, about 10 to 11 years of age.
Though, some do start experiencing puberty at a younger or later age than mentioned. As parents, you would know your child best and if your child starts experiencing physical changes but you’ve yet to have a talk with them on puberty, it’s best for you to do it soon so that your child is well aware and prepared for the changes he or she is about to experience.
How to address?
The two keywords to addressing puberty is to be honest and open. In a couple of years, he or she will soon be adults and as much as you might be tempted to tell your child that babies are delivered by storks or how magical it is for a baby to arrive and grow in mummy’s tummy, a puberty talk is the best time to set things straight.
Be honest and treat your child as well-grown children. Remember, thanks to your upbringing, they have now matured well and enough to understand puberty and sex. Plus, having an honest and open conversation also helps your child prepare for when he or she experiences physical changes.
It’s private
While you’re in the midst of talking to your child about puberty, may we also suggest that you highlight the importance of privacy. Your child would now have known about his or her private zones but in this day and age, where technology has no limits and the lines between right and wrong are all a little blur, you should set things straight when it comes to sharing nude or explicit photos.
Explain to your child that sharing nude or explicit photos of themselves or others is wrong and it could also get them into serious trouble with the law. Also, highlight to your child that if ever a friend has requested for such images or video, it is important that he or she says “No” and tells you about it immediately.
Be there for them
Puberty can be a scary ride for some children. Let your child know that you’re available to talk to at any time.
As parents, it’s also important to initiate conversations about this. Do not let puberty talk be a one-off conversation with your child nor should you wait for your child to ask questions. Instead, make the first step by asking your child questions or even sharing your life experiences with him or her.
This step helps you to maintain a healthy relationship with your child which is vital during this stage of life. After all, wouldn’t it be ideal for your child to turn to you for answers than to turn to the internet or friends for clarification which could misguide them?
Puberty and you
Here’s a chart which you can use to explain to your child about the physical changes that he or she will experience during puberty.
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Girl talk: Physical changes among girls during puberty:
- Sudden mood changes and emotions
- Breasts start developing
- Body shape will change such as hips will widen
- Pubic hair start appearing and will thicken over time
- Experience a growth spurt
- Skin that’s more oily
- Hair will start growing under her arms
- Vaginal discharge due to an increase in mucous produced by the vagina
- Vulva will start developing Start menstruating
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Boy talk: Physical changes among boys during puberty:
- Sudden mood changes and emotions
- Chest and shoulders will get broader
- Pubic hair will start to grow and thicken over time
- Genitals (penis, scrotum and testes) will start to grow
- Experience a growth spurt
- Skin that’s more oily
- Minor breast development might occur for a short period of time
- Body hair will grow on other parts of the body such as face, chest and underarm
- Start getting an erection and ejaculating
