And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.
Shakespeare (As You Like It)
A common struggle among 18 to 25-year-olds is getting accustomed to the world of adulthood. Suddenly, they’re expected to make correct life-altering decisions. Adulting today is hard. Ever wondered how it was centuries ago? What did Shakespeare think about his? Believe it or not, there’s evidence of him talking about it!
In his comedy play, As You Like It, he classified it as part of the ‘seven ages’ of our lives. You should have a go at it but first, let’s look at a more recent concept.
Emerging Adulthood
In 2000, Jeffrey Arnett, a professor at Clark University, categorised the developing ages of 18 to 25 years as ‘emerging adulthood’ (or what we would call adulting). He theorised that as emerging adults, we can’t seem to fit in with adolescents or young adults. That’s because there’s another phase sandwiched in between called adulting. A phase where we’re suddenly expected to make life-altering decisions that won’t screw up our futures.
Adolescence (10–17 years) >> Emerging Adulthood (18–25 years) >> Young Adulthood (26–40 years) >> Middle Adulthood (41–65 years) >> Late Adulthood (66+ years)
Struggles during emerging adulthood
Everyone feels sort of lonely when they’re navigating adulthood. Arnett says that these five characteristics make ‘emerging adulthood’ a distinct developmental period. Can you relate?
#1 Identity Exploration
A time when we are actively exploring who we are in the context of love, work, beliefs, and values. You could be asking:
- Who am I?
- Who are all of these people surrounding me?
- How do I fit in with them?
#2 Self-focused
The best and quite possibly the worst part of adulting is being self-focused. If you’re on social media then you’ve probably watched numerous videos of life coaches telling you to shut out
external voices and discover your true self. It might sound easy for a less than a minute video, but the work put to do so? That’s another tough question.
Nevertheless, the ultimate cycle of adulting is this:
SELF-FOCUSED >> SELF-SUFFICIENT >> OTHER-FOCUSED
Focus on your personal growth. Then only can you become self-sufficient to face reality. Once reality is dealt with, that’s when you’re ready to commit to others through marriage, parenthood and more. Where are you in this process?
#3 Instability
Stability is a myth. No one is actually stable in life, and emerging adults are stuck striving to achieve this false notion. Are you looking for stability in these aspects:
- Career.
- Love life.
- Financial planning.
- Studying abroad or locally.
#4 The Age of Possibilities
Endless possibilities and golden opportunities are like clouds in the sky. The problem is how high can your worldly trampoline push you? How far are you willing to go to give yourself the career, relationship and life you deserve? Who can you trust to include your process of growth? Is this what you’re meant to do?
#5 Feeling In-between
In-between. This pretty much sums up adulthood, doesn’t it? Like driving in the dark, accompanied by a speechless GPS. There’s a solo journey to complete but the destination is unknown.
The mystery continues…
Fondly known as ‘adulting’, the act of carrying out more duties and responsibilities as adults isn’t easy, especially in today’s modern world. Could this be why?
Struggles of adulting
PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
- Understanding your physical maturation.
- Discovering your sexual maturation.
- Gaining social validation.
COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
- Progressing academically.
- Growing your career and finance.
- Mentally grasping abstract concepts.
COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
- Progressing academically.
- Growing your career and finance.
- Mentally grasping abstract concepts.
Adulting hacks
Adulting is hard but it’s not mission impossible. Here are some ways to support yourself while navigating this daunting phase:
- Acknowledging the struggles and changes you’re facing.
- Indulging in self-care activities like exercising, journaling and meditating.
- Talking it out with trusted friends.
- Regularly celebrating milestones in your career or studies.
We asked some friends for tips too!
I think it’s important that we celebrate our small wins and not compare them with others. I used to shy away from meeting new people. I always needed a friend or someone I’m familiar with to go places. But one day, I decided to attend a camp all by myself. Fast forward, I’m doing my taxes on my own! That’s something I’m super proud of. You do you.
– Mary, 25
I work in sales and marketing, so I’m constantly jumping from one project to another. I love my work but hate the stress that comes with it. So to keep my sanity in check, I go on tiny getaways with my family and friends after each project is done.
– Fatin, 36
My mind is my biggest enemy, I tend to overthink and get anxious a lot. One day my mentor told me to stop thinking about yesterday and tomorrow, and just focus on today. 6 years later, I still hold on to that: Take it a day at a time. It’s ok not to have everything figured out.
– Yash, 27
Don’t settle, experiment like a madman! I started out wanting to be a musician, but couldn’t see a bright future in it. Then I finished my law degree and didn’t seem to love it. After some time, I picked up a camera and found my passion in photography. I’m glad to have tried so many things because now I know what I like and what I don’t.
– Don, 26
Keep your friends close. That’s how I’m navigating university. Be it assignments or my personal life, I always share the good and bad with my closest friends. It’s surprising how each of us has different outlooks and similar experiences.
– Jordan, 21
Wow, was that a lot to take in? The thing is, we have all been there including Shakespeare. Research proves it too. Fixating on figuring out your adulthood can make you go bananas. So step out for a walk, watch the birds, and take a deep breath. Enjoy the moment!
Sources: Cleveland Clinic, WebMD, Hopkins Medicine, MyHealth, Healthline, Cognitive & Behavioural Consultants, Psychology Today
